Former President JimmyEarl Carter came out with a profound statement today declaring that all white people, especially right wingers, are racists and bigots .
JimmyEarl did say he lusted once in his heart when interviewed back in the late ’70′s by Playboy for their religious section of the magazine. JimmyEarl went on to say that outside of lusting that one time for a girl named Helga back in Plains, believes that he has never committed a sin in his life because he did not act upon this one impulse he showed in a moment of weakness when dealing with the Iranians in 1979.
Because of a sinless life, his own life he believes has been blessed with a gift that allows him to see into each right wing heart in this country and judge immediately if they are racists, bigots, or even homophobes.
People have come from all over Plains, Georgia to find out which one they are, a bigot or a racist or some other scummy biases they may have in their hearts.
It is said that when Billy Graham visited the White House during JimmyEarl’s presidency, Reverend Graham was immediately rebuked for his racist and homophobic views hidden within his heart. He said that Billy Graham promised him that he would personally work on his own character before he stepped into another pulpit and blasted non-believing sinners. It has been said that JimmyEarl replied to Graham, ” I will be watching you.”
JimmyEarl stated that he may open up a shop in Plains that will help people see the error of their ways and will include in the $25.00 sitting, a telling of their future. Plains has 17 of these “fortune telling shops,” but JimmyEarl said that “he is the only one who is right 100% of the time.”
IT LOOKS LIKE THE HOLE IN THE HULL IS GETTING BIGGER
Jimmyearl, the purest man that has ever lived and blessed with unbelievable gifts.
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lol
Seriously though, what and when has Jimmy Earl really mattered about anything?